March Madness

I’m so tired of being coughy.  Bronchitis sucks.  I was reading today that running and sweating is great for the bronchitis because it pushes out the crap in my lungs.  Also, the sauna is apparently really great for it.  I was surprised because I was thinking the direct opposite.  I really thought that running around was making it worse.  But then again, I’m not a doctor, so okay.  So tomorrow, I plan to make more of an effort to run and sweat at basketball practice.  Then Thursday I will get back on the treadmill and get back into my routine of running every day.  I have no endurance at all at this point, but I blame that on the lack of an appetite for the last month.  No food = No energy.  You don’t have to be a doctor to agree with that.

I’m sick of basketball.  Really I only played in the first place because Jack was playing and she wanted me to play.  So I played.  And now that she doesn’t talk to me anymore, I just really don’t have the desire to be there anymore.  I’m just not that person that can separate personal stuff from other things.  Everything is personal to me.  So the fact that she finds it okay to talk to me during practice, but not outside of basketball… well, it’s frustrating.  And I’m not having fun playing ball anymore.  

I’m ready to play softball.  I’m ready to run bases and hit the shit out of a ball.  I’m ready to be on the field in my own position where I’m not thinking about this stupid crap and where I can just focus on the next batter… where my only thoughts are what I will do if the ball comes to me, and how much field I can cover, and how much time I will have to throw a runner out.  

There’s not much basketball left.  I’m trying to stick with it.  The only thing keeping me there at this point is the group of players that are on the team, and the fact that I committed myself to the team at the beginning. 

As for Jack, I don’t know what’s going on anymore.  She doesn’t talk to me.  I’ve actually made a lot of attempts to talk to her, just saying hi on the computer, or even calling.  She doesn’t even answer.  I was told to drop it by one of her closest friends.  She admitted that Jack doesn’t talk about me to her, but still is sure that our friendship is over.  I spent all of last month not wanting to let it go though.  I guess I just didn’t want to believe that it could really be over… that a friendship like ours could cease.  Granted that I was acting like an asshole for a long time, but she was still talking to me then, so I’m not sure what to think.  I have since stopped trying to talk to her.  I don’t think that I deserve being treated like this.  It’s just courteous that if you say you have to go, but will call back or will message back in a little while, that you would do it.  I don’t think that is reserved just to people you’re best friends with.  

It sucks, but there’s obviously nothing I can do about it.  

So now I just have the last basketball tournament this month.  It will probably suck like the last ones. Oh and I have her baby shower this month.  I should slap myself.  I mean really.