Baby Shower Day… yay

And so the baby shower is over. I did up the place with balloons and streamers. I baked 2 dozen cupcakes, dyed the icing blue, iced the cupcakes and added a little bitty plastic duck into each of them… I baked a cake and did the same with the blue icing, adding slightly larger ducks on top (the blue icing was supposed to be the water, duh)… I had a big spread of Subway sandwiches with all the extras… chips,drinks, a big personalized banner, games, prizes for the games… 2 bouquets of flowers, one of Jack’s favorite flower and the other was of these beautiful white daisies… candies, cookies, personalized candy bars… what else could there have been?  I worked really hard on this. I bought even more gifts to give Jack for her shower, even though I had already given her several gifts before.  

I had considered this shower to be my closure from her.  The situation with her has kept me upset for a very long time and I thought that putting my all into this shower (as opposed to half-assing it) would be the best thing. If she continues to ignore me and not talk to me on a personal level, then that is fine because I did absolutely everything I could do, including throwing her a nice shower with most all of her friends invited.  After today, I can’t feel like there was or is anything else I can do… it’s out of my hands completely. And now, at this point, now that I have officially done everything I could, I am not worried about what happens next.  That’s a good feeling for once.  

The funny thing is that I don’t see it as closure anymore.  This isn’t a bad thing.  I guess it’s because it will not bother me now if she never talks to me again.  It’s whatever now.  (I’m shrugging my shoulders.)

The shower itself was pretty good.  There were lots of decorations and the food was good.  The people all knew each other, so there wasn’t that weirdness that you can sometimes run into.  There was a lot of laughing and it was really nice.  I think everyone had a good time.  The cleanup was pretty easy.  One of the girls stayed behind and helped out, which was nice of her. A couple of other people asked if I needed help, but did so with their hands full and with coats on as they were walking out of the door, so I declined the offer.  I didn’t care if anyone helped clean up.  It was going to be easy anyways.  But still, it was also nice that I didn’t have to do it all.  The only thing left is the main table, which still has food on it, so I’m not worried about it yet.  

John leaves for the field again tomorrow morning.  His dinner is a Subway sandwich with chips.  hahaha  Guess what I will be eating for lunch tomorrow at work… yes, a Subway sandwich with chips.  I’m also taking 15 leftover cupcakes with the little ducks on them.  I’m sure someone will eat them.  It’s better than having them here while I’m by myself.  I will never eat them.  

So yeah, I’m glad the shower is over.  I tend to stress a bit with stuff like this, mainly because I constantly worry that people aren’t having a good time.  But after it’s over, I always feel great because it’s always a big weight being lifted.  So right now I am feeling pretty good.  I had a good get-together and now I am relaxed.  Ahhhhhhh….

Thumpin Thursday

John finally comes home tonight from Italy.  His stay was shorter than I expected, and that’s a good thing.  I was afraid that we would have to wait until Saturday to travel to Amsterdam.  But since he’s going to be home early, we can leave tomorrow as we initially planned.  I had discussed with Jack about my trip a few days ago, so Kennedy will have to go somewhere else for the weekend.  Part of me wants to stay home and hang out with him though.  I hate that he’s being taken from place to place.  

I bought him a new toy a couple of days ago and he hasn’t put it down.  It warms my soul that he likes it so much.  If only everyone could be as appreciative.  

I would give an update on Jack, but I can’t because of course I don’t know.  I expected her to keep me updated, but that hasn’t happened.  I’m assuming that she’s okay though.  She sent a big bag of dog food with her friends to give to me yesterday, so I’m guessing that Kennedy the dog will be staying with me for a while.  That doesn’t bother me because Kennedy is a good dog.  

Kennedy and I took a massive walk yesterday.  It was a run/walk.  I got lots of exercise out of it.  I think we were out there for almost an hour, if that tells you anything.  It was fun exploring anyways.  I went to places that I’ve never been and he got to sniff smells that I’m sure were new to him.  In this area anyways.  We took the new toy out and played with it for a while, too, which seemed to make him a very happy dog.  When we finally came back home, he took a nap… as did I.  

Then I had basketball practice.  This was interesting.  Well, it wasn’t interesting while it was happening, but after.  Being that I had some errands to run, I left early from home.  But, of course, it took longer than I expected, so I was late to practice.  Not that this should be an issue because everyone is late half the time.  When I got there, the team was again doing situps and clapping their hands over their heads… that kind of thing that bores the crap out of me.  It was being led by one of the guards that has been gone for the last 2 or 3 weeks.  So I wasn’t too happy to have to do that stuff, being that I just did most of it a few hours before.  But I did it.  I left to make a phone call, which again shouldn’t be an issue being that there have been times that the other players have taken phone calls.  When I came back, the other captain came to me and asked me what was up and blah blah blah.  I told her nothing.  Interestingly enough, I did actually say to her before I left that I needed to make a phone call.  Guess she didn’t hear me.  She also told me that the whole team was wondering where I was and all that.  This is bullshit that I am held to a higher standard.  Her excuse is that I’m a captain.  But I would think that as a captain, I would know what was going on for practice if the coach isn’t going to be there, but since noone bothers to tell me anything, why should I act like a captain?  I’m tired of it.  

So then during one of our breaks, I told the team that I had left to take a phone call, in case they were wondering.  Only one person said anything about it and that was that it took a while.  Blah.  So I was happy because it wasn’t as big of an issue as the other captain was making it out to be.  We finally got around to playing basketball for all of 20 minutes, which made me happy because I wanted to play, yet pissy because I just broke my neck to get to practice for nothing but 20 minutes of basketball.  But I was happy to be playing and I was vocal finally.  I was pretty quiet during the hand-clapping session.  

But wait, there’s more.  I get home and the guard that was away for 2-3 weeks IMed me asking me what was up and blah blah blah.  So I told her, too, that nothing was up.  She was going on about how I’m a captain and she works out harder than anyone on the team and yet comes in and does the situps.  I wanted to tell her that I don’t care, but I didn’t.  She also made a big deal out of me being late, telling me that I know when practice is.  I found that interesting because she had been late many times, which caused the coach and the other captain to be late, because she required a ride to practice and they waited on her.  At least that’s what I’m told.  So the whole team would sit there waiting on the coach to get to practice because she had the basketballs.  It was just fine that they were late to every practice, but it’s not okay that I’m late.  

I’m just tired of being crapped on.

Feeling better

Well, I suppose that I’m officially not sick anymore.  It took almost a half hour this morning before I coughed for the first time, and that’s huge.  And I haven’t been coughing much since.  My energy level has increased as well as my endurance.  For a while, putting a load of clothes into the washer left me breathless and tired.  I would have to go lay down on the couch for a while.  

I went to basketball practice today.  No coach.  The coach had some issues this weekend with her pregnancy and so is taking it easy.  I’m not sure if she’s back home yet or still in the hospital.  But she’s doing okay, so that’s good.  I’m now dogsitting for her.  I miss ole Kennedy the dog.  He’s probably the coolest dog there is.  

He’s lazy and lovable and is grateful for everything you do for him.  If more people were like him, the world would be much better place.  Maybe not the lazy part… there’s plenty of lazy people.  :)

I’m hoping to stay in the loop on how his mom is doing, but I’m kinda thinking that won’t happen.  Maybe it will though.

Super Saturday

John got to come home for a few hours yesterday.  He’s been in the field all week long and I’ve missed him.  I was ecstatic that he came home 5 hours earlier than expected.  He had less than 24 hours at home before leaving for Italy early this morning.  He will be there all this week.  At least he will come home Friday and on Friday we leave for Amsterdam for the weekend.  Man, I need this.  I need a weekend away.  

I was worrying a little about missing basketball, since we have always played on Saturdays.  However, the coach didn’t bother scheduling anything for yesterday, so I’m guessing it’s just fine that I miss next weekend.  In fact, the lack of communication from the team has me believing that it’s not that important to anyone at all.  It makes me wonder why I’ve stayed around.  I mean, even the coach is skipping.  I’m not the only person to notice the lack of dedication either.  I had another player ask me the same thing.  I had no answer for her.  

I got to do a lot of shopping yesterday and that made me happy.  The clothes I bought are cute and make me feel good when I wear them.  I’m looking forward to work.  And since there was no basketball scheduled yesterday, we stayed out in town and shopped some more.  It was a nice Saturday.  I’m planning to do the same thing tomorrow.  There were some stores we missed and some things I didn’t buy.  I still need some shoes.  

I’ve spent a lot of time cleaning my house this week.  It needed it.  I needed it.  I needed my house to stop being the sick house.  I opened up the windows and let fresh air in to replace all the bleh air.  I got rid of all the trash and cleaned everything I saw.  It feels better in here now.  It’s a good thing, too, because I’m planning a movie night with a friend of mine here and I don’t need this being the house of eternal sickliness during it.  

So starts another week.  Get through this and I get a nice vacation.  Bring it on.

Shopping trip!

So I have a new job that I’m excited about.  And I’m not even mad that noone has bothered to suggest going out to celebrate.  I thought I would be, but I’m not.  Instead, I’m happy because I’m going to do a bunch of shopping tomorrow for work clothes.  

My new job is at a bank and anyone that knows me knows that I don’t have many clothes appropriate for such work.  I’ve had my fun shopping on the internet for some basic clothes and it’s been great getting them in the mail and trying them on, only to find that… they all fit!  I received some more clothes in the mail today and I was terribly excited because one of them was a nice pair of pants.  I tried them on and can you believe that they are too big??  I’m trying to decide whether I want to send them back for a smaller size or to keep them and wear them anyways.  I think I’m too impatient to send them back in the mail.  They took forever to get here in the first place.

So tomorrow I’m going with some friends downtown to shop for work clothes.  This is a good thing because I’ve never really trusted myself to pick out cute clothes.  Once they’re on me, I can decide if something’s cute or not, but I’m not going to go in a store and try on every single article of clothing.  So I’m happy that the friends that are going with me are people that dress well and have some taste… maybe they can help me decide.  

My plan is to get a bunch of basics so I can mix and match.  My schedule at work starts out with working 5 days a week, so I really need to come out with lots of outfits.  

Schweinfurt just got a new mall, too, so that’s going to be an adventure.  You don’t find malls in Germany like you do in America.  All of the stores are just stores.  But this new Stadtgallerie is built up like an American mall, complete with a food court.  Granted that the food court is probably filled with German food, but you never know.  I hear that McDonalds is there. I don’t know much else about the new mall, but I’ve heard some good things, so I’m happy to give it a try.  

Wish me luck!

Amsterdam!!

So John and I are going to Amsterdam.  I’ve never been and I’m very excited about it.  It was kind of a random decision really.  John called from the field this week and asked if I wanted to take a trip later this month.  I said okay.  So I booked the hotel today and I’m pumped about it.  We’ll be going with another couple who are very fun to be around, which will make the trip that much more fun.  I’m sure the 5.5 hr car drive will be hilarious at the very least!

I started looking up things to do in Amsterdam today.  It looks like that the weekend we are going will be a perfect timeframe to see everything.  Plus it’s later this month, so hopefully the weather will be better.  Actually, today was quite beautiful.  It’s been a long time since the sun has been out here.  It rains almost every day or every other day, and if it’s not raining or snowing, then it LOOKS like it will soon.  

Anyways, so I’m going to Amsterdam.  I’m looking forward to Newscoma telling me what to see… didn’t you tell me you’ve been there?

March Madness

I’m so tired of being coughy.  Bronchitis sucks.  I was reading today that running and sweating is great for the bronchitis because it pushes out the crap in my lungs.  Also, the sauna is apparently really great for it.  I was surprised because I was thinking the direct opposite.  I really thought that running around was making it worse.  But then again, I’m not a doctor, so okay.  So tomorrow, I plan to make more of an effort to run and sweat at basketball practice.  Then Thursday I will get back on the treadmill and get back into my routine of running every day.  I have no endurance at all at this point, but I blame that on the lack of an appetite for the last month.  No food = No energy.  You don’t have to be a doctor to agree with that.

I’m sick of basketball.  Really I only played in the first place because Jack was playing and she wanted me to play.  So I played.  And now that she doesn’t talk to me anymore, I just really don’t have the desire to be there anymore.  I’m just not that person that can separate personal stuff from other things.  Everything is personal to me.  So the fact that she finds it okay to talk to me during practice, but not outside of basketball… well, it’s frustrating.  And I’m not having fun playing ball anymore.  

I’m ready to play softball.  I’m ready to run bases and hit the shit out of a ball.  I’m ready to be on the field in my own position where I’m not thinking about this stupid crap and where I can just focus on the next batter… where my only thoughts are what I will do if the ball comes to me, and how much field I can cover, and how much time I will have to throw a runner out.  

There’s not much basketball left.  I’m trying to stick with it.  The only thing keeping me there at this point is the group of players that are on the team, and the fact that I committed myself to the team at the beginning. 

As for Jack, I don’t know what’s going on anymore.  She doesn’t talk to me.  I’ve actually made a lot of attempts to talk to her, just saying hi on the computer, or even calling.  She doesn’t even answer.  I was told to drop it by one of her closest friends.  She admitted that Jack doesn’t talk about me to her, but still is sure that our friendship is over.  I spent all of last month not wanting to let it go though.  I guess I just didn’t want to believe that it could really be over… that a friendship like ours could cease.  Granted that I was acting like an asshole for a long time, but she was still talking to me then, so I’m not sure what to think.  I have since stopped trying to talk to her.  I don’t think that I deserve being treated like this.  It’s just courteous that if you say you have to go, but will call back or will message back in a little while, that you would do it.  I don’t think that is reserved just to people you’re best friends with.  

It sucks, but there’s obviously nothing I can do about it.  

So now I just have the last basketball tournament this month.  It will probably suck like the last ones. Oh and I have her baby shower this month.  I should slap myself.  I mean really.

Music for my soul

Lately I’ve been picking up some older music to listen to.  I go through my phases of hiphop, rock, country even… Then on occasion, I will get into some older stuff.  Earlier this year, I started to listening to Billboard’s Top Gazillion songs of the 90’s.  That was fun.  I got to listen to We Are The World like a thousand times.  Ahh, it was awesome.  But now I’m out of that phase now.  Wham! was starting to get on my nerves.

So anyways, I’ve reverted back to the 90’s most recently, and I’m loving it.  It makes me think of how much I’ve changed since then.  I used to be way more laid back and just didn’t care what people thought.  And then I think about now, how I’ve been so caught up with what people are thinking all the time and it’s no wonder that I’ve been going crazy.  Sitting here listening to this music makes me feel better.  It also makes me want to exercise.  I’m sure it will make it to my ipod very shortly.

Sick, Sick, Sick

I’ve been sick for the last week.  I hate it.  I don’t know what it was before, though I’m inclined to say it was a sinus infection, but it’s now bronchitis, so that’s fun.  I don’t remember ever having bronchitis, and I’d like to think that if I’d ever had, I’d remember it vividly, because it sucks something awful.  

So, I’ve been in bed for most of the week.  I slept through a few days of it though.  Then we had a basketball game last weekend.  I wasn’t going to go, but I felt the team needed me, so I went and played.  I’m pretty certain it made my condition worse, but I don’t blame anyone.  I’m glad I got to get out of the house and do something.  Then we had practice Monday and since I was feeling better, I went to that.  Other than that, I’ve been on the couch all week.  

Since I’ve had next to nothing to do, I’ve been working more on my friend’s baby shower.  It’s weird planning a shower for someone who barely talks to me.  But, she deserves a shower, and who am I to deny her that.  Plus, I do catch her off guard sometimes and she says something, so that’s progress at least.  I just wonder how long it’s going to be like this.  Anyways, back to the shower.  I’ve been putting a lot of time and money into it, and I’m really hoping that it turns out well.  I had already bought a lot of stuff for it before our falling-out, like the invitations and some of the decorations, so at least all of that was already done.  Now it’s on to the actual planning and the smaller details.  I’ve got several plans and tons of ideas to make it special, so I’m hoping that it all pulls together to make a great shower.  I pretty much stay on the internet all day looking for more ideas and ways to make everything happen.  It’s an advantage to being sick and laying on the couch all day long.  

John has avoided catching my sickness and I’m glad for that.  I’m not contagious, but to be in such close proximity for so long is still scary.  I wouldn’t wish this crap on anyone really.  It sucks.  It really sucks for John because I haven’t cooked dinner in a week.  He cooked some soup for a couple of days and then after that it’s been little knick knacks here and there.  Speaking of which, I’ve lost a lot of weight being sick, too.  At least it’s a jumpstart for when I feel better… I can get back to exercising and everything, maintain my weight and even lose more.  See… there’s one good thing about being sick.  But that’s it.  Okay, back to resting.

Basketball Weekend

Some friends of mine decided to go to Ireland for the weekend and invited my husband and me to go, along with some other people.  I wanted to go, but I had committed myself to basketball this weekend.  Also, I had some hope that this weekend would make things better with my other friends.  So my husband decided to go on to Dublin, since he’s never been.  I was happy to hear that he wanted to go and I was even happier that he actually went.  I really did want to go with him, but I decided to stay behind and try to get things right with my people.  So I was in Stuttgart all weekend playing in a basketball tournament.  

The tournament itself kind of sucked because we lost 2 out of 3 games.  I had been weak all week long and this weekend was no exception.  My body is still trying to recover from last weekend.  During the second game, I messed up my ankle.  I don’t know if you’ve ever walked or run on a jacked-up ankle, but let me tell you that it hurts like crazy.  It tweaked again in the third game and it felt awful.  On top of that, I was beat up, pushed around, took a couple of charges, made a few dives, and at some point, was run into with an elbow to the stomach which knocked the breath out of me.  I almost cried.  If I could have breathed, I probably would have.  Luckily there were only a few seconds left in the game when that happened, so I played through.  We won that game by one point.  It wasn’t a sweet victory for me because I didn’t play as well as I should have offensively.  Plus after the game ended, everything wanted to hurt at the same time.  

I left early this morning so that I could get home and rest some more.  My body needs it.